Make a positive statement with the way you look without saying a word

Have you ever dressed in a certain way and when you go out to meet your friends or go for a certain function, people around you , who are close to you ask; “Is everything okay? ”. There are 3 main areas in your looks that are adversely impacted by the emotional pain you go through when betrayed, rejected or abused. The first area is your posture. The way you sit, stand and walk may easily turn into victim postures. The second area impacted is your skin. When stressed because of the hurt you went through, the glow of your skin turns to disappear, mainly because of the wrong foods you are eating. The third, but not least is your presentation expressed through poor dressing You may start dressing without “purpose” and because of the wrong posture; the clothes will probably not look as presentable as they ought to. The other challenge could be you might not know how to dress well in line with your body type. This article is going to help you make a positive statement with your looks as you rebuild your self esteem. The article will look at how to improve your posture, skin, and dressing. Remember, now that you have moved on and are focusing on the positive aspects in life, dress with a purpose in mind to express that “You are confident”, “You have moved on”, “You are strong”, “You can achieve anything”, “You are beautiful”.  The way you present yourself to the world should always form a positive opinion in the minds of those who see you.

AREA 1: Alter your posture from that os a “victim” to that of a “victor”

When I was betrayed, I felt like a victim, and my posture expressed the negative thoughts I said to myself.  Research indicates that emotions of anger or happiness can easily be communicated through the posture. When you look down upon yourself, the following postures are expressed through the body language:-

  • Head position & eye contact

Victim Posture The head is mostly on the side or looking downwards. The reason why people with a victim mentality portray this posture is because they are telling themselves they are not worth it. They also want the people around them not to bother them as they wallow in their self pity mindset. A person with a victim mentality avoids eye contact with the people around him or her. When talking to such a person, you see the person looking down or sideways to avoid direct eye contact. However people who meet others with such a posture mistaken them with a very shy person. It is only when you start talking with them that is when you realise they have issues with self-worth.

Victor posture: – As you rebuild your self-worth, it is important to lift your head up high above your shoulders. A head above the shoulders indicates you are in control and confident and ready to take on any challenge that comes you way. Your eyes are like windows to your soul, and when you look a person in their eye when talking to them you are communicating that you have nothing to hide and are confident with whom you are. Aim to look a person in the eye as you communicate with them and always keep your head up high above the shoulders.

Shoulder and hip position

Victim posture: – When you tell yourself, you are good for nothing, unloved and not worth it, your shoulders drop and you lean forward when standing and walking. The hip position is misaligned from the shoulders.

Victor posture: – Aim to align your shoulders with your hips, when you are sitting, standing or walking. The alignment brings out a straight posture of someone who is in control and ready to take on any challenge. It also makes you feel strong and in control.

Back, Chest, and Stomach postures.

Victim posture: – A person who has a low esteem exhibits a back posture that is outward, belly out, and chest curved in. This posture supports the head that is looking down and the dropped shoulders.  This posture can make you feel moody, sad and unsociable.

Victor posture: – As you rebuild your self esteem, aim to lift yourself up by slightly curving in your lower back, pulling in your belly (learn to breath with your chest not your belly), and lifting your chest high. Some people may perceive it as a pompous look, but it is a posture that communicates you are in full control, confident and can achieve anything.

Adjusting your posture, not only transforms the way a dress or garments drapes on you, but also affects the response of people around you.  Research has indicated that psychopaths tend to attack people who communicate a victim posture with the way they walk or present themselves. Hence it is very important to take control of your posture by communicating a body language that shows you are in control.


Take good care of your skin


AREA 2:-4 Basic ways to take care of your skin

Your skin is the biggest organ of your body and mainly expresses what you eat and your basic hygiene. Eating healthy foods has a positive impact on the quality of your skin. A study identified fruits and vegetables as a good source of defence against skin problems and aging. When the heart is broken and you stressed, you normally eat the wrong foods and

and this has a negative impact on the skin. As you start living a healthy lifestyle in the process of moving on and rebuilding your self -worth, it is important you take good care of your skin. Below are some of the basic things you have to do to make your skin look better. However it is important to visit your dermatologist for advice if you have developed serious skin problems during your stressful period:-



It is important that you exfoliate the skin once a day. It makes your skin look brighter and healthier. Skin exfoliation promotes cell turnover and encourages natural sloughing off of the dead skin. Exfoliation helps unclog the pores and free the skin of make- up and bacteria. After exfoliating, the skin feels light.  Scrub the skin with cleansing grainsSurparna Trikha, a beauty expert suggests the following natural ingredients for the scrub grain: – 1 cup rice powder, 1 cup oatmeal, half cup of lemon rind powder. Mix all ingredients and store in jar. Every day take 2 teaspoons and mix with rosewater or milk depending on your skin. Scrub on your face and neck gently, then wash and pat dry.

Wear Sunscreen:-

It is recommended you wear sunscreen always even when indoors because your skin could be exposed to rays or you might be sitting in a room that might have sunlight going through. Make sure sunscreen ingredients (check the label) have zinc oxide, mexoryl, avobezone as active ingridents. Click here for the best sunscreen products. Sunscreen protects the skin from excessive light.

Acne and pimples

Never pick a pimple as this is likely to injure the skin and leave a mark on the skin. People usually cover acne and pimples with heavy make -up.  However it is important pimples are treated by keeping skin clean and drinking lots of water. It is also important to use mint or camphor based skin tonic which helps reduce bacteria build up on the skin.  Learn more about what products that are good in treating acne and pimples.

Get rid of blackheads:-

Blackheads are a reflection that skin is not being taken care off well. As you rebuild your self-worth your skin needs to be of good quality. If you developed deep blackheads, it is vital you get them cleaned out professionally at least once a month. You can visit a dermatologist who can give you recommendations. Surpana Trikha , a beauty expert , recommends the following natural ingredients to cleanse blackheads. Take orange peel powder, mix with rosewater, and scrub on the blackhead prone area, and gently squeeze out with a towel after washing the scrub off.

To learn more about the best way to take care of your skin please click here


AREA 3:- The best way to dress your body type 

As you make a positive statement with the way you look without saying a word, dress with a purpose to make the people around you form a positive opinion that you are beautiful, confident and strong.  Clothes are meant to flatter the body and not the other way round.  The first step is to know your body type in order to determine the clothes that best suite you. Click here to determine your body type using the basic measurements of the bust, waist, and hips. Below are the 4 basic body types and the recommended clothes to wear in a positive manner:-


Body type 1: An Apple body Type

This body is heavy at the top,  slim limbs, wide shoulders, and weight is concentrated around the midsection and chest. Generally the body is bigger on the bust area,  and there is a protruding belly

How to dress positively:- When looking for clothes that suit this body type, focus on clothes that DO NOT bring attention to the waist. So dresses with belts  or dresses that squeeze the waist will not work well for this body type. Aim to wear blouses, dresses and blouses with slight V neck. Aim to draw attention away from your shoulders and waist ;wear clothes that attract attention to your bust and neck.  Also aim to wear tops that drape over any curves. For the bottom part of the body, aim to wear flared pants over skinny slacks. Also aim to wear the slacks below your hip bone , not up to the waist, so that focus is shifted away the waist area. Click here to learn on what clothes to wear for this body type.

Body type 2:- A pear body type

The lower body and hips , behind and thighs are more noticeable features the bottom part of the body is bigger than the shoulders, bust and belly.

How to dress positively:-  Aim to wear clothes add to the bust and shoulder area as it smaller than other body types. Try by all means not to wear clothes that draw attention to your curves and legs, as these are bigger than the upper body. Avoid wearing  pants or tights that narrow your legs, it would make the body look like an inverted triangle. For the bust, aim to wear  a bra that enhances the area. Learn to wear straight leg or slightly flared pants . Heels make the look slimmer. Attention should be drawn to the upper body. Click here to learn on what clothes to wear for this body type.


Body type 3:-Straight / rectangular body type

These body types look fairly straight up with flat shoulders. The waist is about the same size as hips and bust. When standing up , there is no significant feature on this body type.

How to dress positively:– Aim to wear dresses or tops that pinch the waist, or belts that will exaggerate curves. Wear tops and dresses that have embellishment at the bust area, to add weight around that area. Avoid wearing baggy slacks or jeans, and track clothes, as this will make you look like a male figure. Aim to wear skinny jeans and skinny slacks. The biggest asset for this body type is the legs, aim to wear short skirts, or short dresses to reveal your great legs. Click here to learn on what clothes to wear for this body type.


Body type 4:-An hourglass body

This body type has the hip and bust measurements equally the same with a narrow waist.The waist is significantly defined. The curves are shaped in the right places and fat distributed evenly throughout the body.

How to dress positively: The focal point for this body type is the waist. Aim to wear clothes that squeeze the waist so that the curves come out more beautifully. Cropped jackets and tops also work out very well with this body type. Aim to also wear clothes that follow the body’s outline. Avoid clothes that  drape over the waist or shapeless dresses. These will make you look “pregnant”. Aim to wear high waist pants  and pencil skirts that draw attention to your waist. Avoid clothes that reveal too much bust, and tops or blouses that reveal too much of the neckline and cleavage. Wear supportive bras that make your chest look perky. Click here to learn on what clothes to wear for this body type.

Choose colours, and patterns wisely. Wear bright colours on your body areas of strength to enhance the areas and draw attention away from the body areas that are weak points by wearing dark colours. To learn more about the how to dress your body type I recommend the following books that will help you dress your best and make a positive statement  to the people around you.


The Add –Ons

Your presentation can always be enhanced by the following add ons. View these add –ons  as adding flavour to an already beautiful you, just like adding herbs to a meal to make it taste better. The below suggestions will enhance your beauty….

Accessorize your beauty

There is no harm in spoiling yourself with jewellery , watches , sunglasses , bangles just to  enhance the way you look. I believe accessories are like adding flavour to plain food. You may look fabulous in the simple slack, heels and blouse, but adding accessories enhances the way you look. Click here to find the best accessories that suit the new look.

Make Up

Make up may be used to cover skin flaws, however make up is also a good way of enhancing your beauty. You may put very light make up, but it really makes a difference in enhancing your beauty. I recommend the guide will help you on which make up will suite your skin type. Make sure the makeup you put on is always washed off before you go bed to keep skin healthy and good looking.


It is one thing to look good and smell awful. As you enter a place, your fragrance should be attractive and make people want to spend time with you. However if you react to strong smells , you can use recommended  natural herbs to make you smell natural but good. On the other hand if you want to make a positive statement but the sweet smelling fragrance, click here and let your fragrance make people have a positive opinion about you.

Beauty Spa

Once in awhile, it is good to visit a beauty spa, where essential oils and salts are used to cleanse your skin and treat your muscles. This will make you feel about yourself and improve your skin glow.



Hurt and emotional pain have a way of affecting three main beauty areas of your life, your posture, skin and dressing. As you are in the process of moving on and rebuilding your s-elf worth, it is important you focus on having a good posture that communicates your positive thinking, take good care of your skin and dressing in such a way that indicates your life is the best.

For questions or comments kindly leave them below and I will be more than happy to respond to you. Remember take care, because I care.

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